In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Vodka?
Forever.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
