Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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