I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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