i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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