i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
