i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
