...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
