the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
