hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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