On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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