haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
