sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
