why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
