so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
