Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
