I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
