Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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