is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
