I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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