i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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