He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
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