new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
