girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
