just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
