4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
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