Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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