writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
