just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
