i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Panties = found
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
