I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
