She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
