come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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