omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
