I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
