I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's blow job season.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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