so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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