If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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