I only kidnapped one of them. chill
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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