ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
