just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
