Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
