the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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