Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
