You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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