Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
