I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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