This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
