Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
