I just pynch a tree in the face
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
