im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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