My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Pants are for mortals
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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